1st November 2007 - commemorating and wondering

The alarm clock rang, I woke up..like an average morning. But it was 1, November, 2007. Gaping, looking for a pretty, moderate, darker clothes. These were typical of me that morning. My parents did the same. They were tiffing some tea, cleaning their shoes, trying to wake up. But..it wasn't that usual day, somehow. It is an important day of course, as it is the day of dead persons in our country as well, but I/We had a bizarre feeling about it.

We had to go...cemetery, kind of tomb decorations, needles to say. We got on our car, straight to Kehidakustány, Zala county. Yes, to that place. Me and my whole family do not have any relative to commemorate to, as we are not native inhabitants of Kaposvár. My mother and her family are from Zala, my father's home county is Veszprém & Zala counties, so...that's it. Moreover, I was born in Siófok, which is said to be exists in Europe but in Somogy. (in the Siófok-livers' opinion :-P). The traffic was quite heavy, accordingly it took us almost 2 hours to get the cemetery (half-way between Zalaszentgrót and "Kehida"). We weren't so talkative during the ride, you know. Having arrived to the hill-side hallowed ground, the cold, strong wind was blowing, like in general. We sauntered up to the hill to enshrine. My mum's parents lie there in peace. Finally, we managed to light candles although it was not so easy. We were just standing there for minutes...I felt my hair blazing into my face because of the wind, but I did not mind. It helped to dry my tears. Yes, I see. Both of my grandparents were old..too old. But...each of them died in the two typical disease in Hungary. Cancer and heart attack. Furthermore, I have almost nobody left, because me and my father have no brothers and sisters, by the way.. I had no chance to meet either of my great grandparents neither one of my grandfathers. Unlike 90% of my friends and acquaintances. No comment...My mother in the age of 38 did not have any parents. She was no longer a child! (But please, please more subsidy for big families, right?? Oh come on...)

I was already driving on the way to Balatonfenyves at about 12.15 p.m (as we decided to visit our holiday house for a minute again, hoping everything was OK, fortunately it was so.). After taking about 1-2kms, my mother asked me to go through the village that time, not along the settlement. She wanted to see The House again when she was brought up. I said "certainly", of course. I knew the way to get there...I remembered and I remember at present, too. I was just changing the gears slowly, reached the village, bent toward to 14, Széchenyi Street. I saw buildings (shops, pubs) again. During 1 minute, happenings of several years came to my mind. I stopped in front of the house. I was unable to breath neither. It was so strange and beautiful at the same time. The new owner rebuilt it a bit, and it is probably a kind of summer-house for him/her now. The same huge nut tree in the backyard, nice lawn. Amazing. The last time we were there was in 2000, in the year of the funeral of my grandmother. I recognized everything..I remembered, how much hours I was playing and relaxing there. The whole settlement became better dueing to the lot of Austrian inhabitants and their money, in addition, the so called thermal bath.
After we had checked the house in Kehida, we did it in Balatonfenyves as well. Having had a big meal in a little restaurant nearby, we left for "home", Kaposvár. The first stop was Plaza of Kaposvár, the local entertainment facility center, to buy tickets to the cinema. We wished to watch the 3rd part of Jason Bourne's story, The Bourne Ultimatum. Fortunately, we were not disappointed after it. It was as great as the 1st and 2nd episode, and the older version from 1988, starring Richard Chamberlain. Some say, it is not a good movie at all. Well, they may not understand the whole story, or hate Matt Damon, or they watch this film only as an action film.
To tell the truth, we needed to do something calm, jarring to get rid of stress and sad mind. During the film, I realized that I may have some similar attributes with the main character. Sometimes, I don't know who I am neither. Really. (not when we go out at night and drink something :-) )

So, is was a heavy day for us, I was thinking a lot and I perceived that I am adult now, and appreciating my properties, remembrances, loves are really essential. And why was it so strange? ( I used this word at the beginning of this writing). Well, it was only the 2nd time, I think, when I could not stand crying, and this day was the most staggering for me this year. Maybe I've changed, become sober-minded. "...Who knows, only time..." /Enya/